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Demos

by Jay Kayle

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1.
This is the last day of my life Why would I spend it all alone Holding stares from empty chairs And knowing I don't wanna leave as an unknown I was a student of the fog I was a master of release Breaking rules with wooden tools Holding onto someone else's stolen keys Finding time is easy Seems like we've all got time to give I guess I'm here if someone needs me Watching people watching people live We never fit on any graph Aren't all these boxes just a drag? Guess they're a part of every heart So I've got "casual observer" on my tag Finding time is easy Seems like we've all got time to give I guess I'm here if someone needs me Watching people watching people live This is the first day of my life Why would I spend it all on you? With regret from seasons spent Losing sight of what we are and meant to do Wasting time is easy Seems like we've all got time to give I guess I'm here if someone needs me Watching people watching people live
2.
Swear these streets were painted And I invented wings With weak imaginations And broken things Monet inside a closet And he swears he's always been While I stutter in the keyhole With hollow skin The moon ain't how I pictured Before the tides were strong I want more than just tomorrow I'll settle for a song Are there stars in heaven? Do angels have their doubts? Is hell anticipation Or finding out I believe in nothing Does that mean I believe In dreams too big for numbers And guarantees The moon ain't how I pictured Before the tides were strong I want more than just tomorrow I'll settle for a song I'm one headlight from the Hudson I'm two from empty cups I'm great at pure devotion And giving up Bring me something heavy So all this weight feels right I'm warm under your covers But cold tonight The moon ain't how I pictured Before the tides were strong I want more than just tomorrow I'll settle for a song
3.
Holy Tuesday 02:26
I'm not feeling like myself these days, I'm sure Yeah I know I'm not the man I was before Out of the blue you turned my molehill to a home And I've forgotten how to live alone I do all my driving on Sunday All my dancing on Friday night I'm a changed man by Monday Holy Tuesday, do me right You forced laughter til you forgot how to smile How the things we did now seem so juvenile I hope to God I can stop hoping that this lasts And I forget how to live that fast I do all my driving on Sunday All my dancing on Friday night I'm a changed man by Monday Holy Tuesday, do me right I do all my driving on Sunday All my dancing on Friday night I'm a changed man by Monday Holy Tuesday, do me right
4.
Sad Puppy 03:07
She took the posters but nobody came Nobody wanted the rules that she made And the grooves that she wore in her fingers They saw as fake He got the questions that nobody asked Wearing his burden alone like a mask When the winds blew, he cried to the heavens And fogged up the glass Sad puppy don't know His is as good as it gets Wear your head proudly and long in the night Just cause you're wrong, that don't mean that they're right Stop giving love to the people who don't give it back Don't take my word like it's all that you read It gets harder and harder to leave things unsaid We keep finding ways to keep moving And ending up dead Sad puppy don't know His is as good as it gets Did I put enough miles on my knees? I never did live in a house in the trees I'm a weak fool for wanting the comfort of fate I didn't know what I wanted til it was too late I should've grown oranges, I should've been loud I should've breathed sun 'stead of counting the clouds Trading buffalo pennies in a stranger's purse I wasted my best years afraid of the worst
5.
This Weather 03:18
It's here again The start of the end It's been nearly a year since the cloak turned the bend You turned away and the canvas turned brown Like the leaves that have fallen now litter the ground I hoped I'd be okay but hope wished on a black cat in town Spring was a flood but October was wetter Water fills holes in her hand-me-down sweater If you know a place to call home then you'd better I don't think there's much I can do in this weather Lock tight the hatch And light up a match We can burn all our dreams, I just hope that they catch Ain't it a shame just watching me go grey Like the branches that bend in the dark of the day And by snowfall I'm meling on ice just to recall the rain Spring was a flood but October was wetter Water fills holes in her hand-me-down sweater If you know a place to call home then you'd better I don't think there's much I can do in this weather We've been hopeless enough that we know After the frost there's nothing that can grow The days leave so fast but the nights are so slow I can't see the sunshine from twenty below If Jesus was born in this ache and these winds It's no wonder he saw the world so full of sin Hell, who wouldn't wish we could die and rise again Spring was a flood but October was wetter Water fills holes in her hand-me-down sweater If you know a place to call home then you'd better I don't think.... Spring was a flood but October was wetter She washed away and left only her sweater I thought by this time I'd surely know better I don't think there's much I can do in this weather
6.
Anhedonia 03:50
Anhedonia, give me back my name Anhedonia, give me back my name I went to the desert sands and all I saw was rain Anhedonia, give me back my name Anhedonia, fill another room Anhedonia, fill another room I laid among the roses, but I only smelled perfume Anhedonia, fill another room I don't mind the pity I could do without the shame We come up with such promise But we all go down the same Anhedonia, find a better face Anhedonia, find a better face I don't like the capture and I sure don't like the chase Anhedonia, find a better face I don't mind the pity I could do without the shame We come up with such promise But we all go down the same Anhedonia, won't you let me go Anhedonia, won't you let me go I went down to Tampa and got buried in the snow Anhedonia, won't you let me go I don't mind the pity I could do without the shame We come up with such promise But we all go down the same
7.
If I were you I'd say it to their faces If I were you I'd set em straight When every rumor that you leave Could be your gravestone's decree I'd tell em true If I were you If I were you I'd leap before I looked If I were you I'd say hello Cause every hour spent indoors Ignores the lives that aren't yours I'd live a few If I were you If I were you I'd hop a train I'd run barefoot in the city I'd dance naked in the rain I've so much to see and do but I've got nothing to lose Oh I'd know just who I was if I were you If I were you I'd go on a vacation If I were you I'd take a break Or were your eyes not meant to see More than the same well-worn streets I'd change my view If I were you If I were you I'd hop a train I'd run barefoot in the city I'd dance naked in the rain I've so much to feel and hold but I've got nothing to lose Oh I'd know just who I was if I were you Well it's your life And it's your story And regret won't get the reaper to hold off But when your actions bring a curse Remember all my brave words Of what I'd do If I were you If I were you I'd hop a train I'd run barefoot in the city I'd dance naked in the rain I've so much to learn and love but I've got nothing to lose Oh I'd know just who I was if I were you
8.
All he wants to do is play for money All he wants to do is save the world All the angels think he's funny Say she's not that kind of girl But all he wants to do is build a boxcar And all he wants to do is watch it run Leave the gravel in his backyard Wave goodbye to everyone Surely stranger things have happened Surely fires follow rain Shouldn't someone get all they ever dreamed of? I just want to want again All she wants to do is skip the sunrise All she wants to do is miss a beat Greet the morning with some surprise Tar the floor with honest feet Surely stranger things have happened Surely fires follow rain Shouldn't someone get all they ever dreamed of? I just want to want again All you wanna do is keep from running All you wanna do is change your name Pick the same chords you've been strumming Tell yourself it's not the same Surely stranger things have happened Surely fires follow rain Shouldn't someone get all they ever dreamed of? I just want to want again
9.
My Doorbell 03:24
Holy mother, father was it all a dream? I remember my old doorbell but the door is lost and gone Tell me what use is the mem'ry if there ain't nobody home It rings on & on & on & on and on Lately hours ain't the minutes they once were And my clock was never accurate but we used to pretend Now it's calling a vendetta over all the time we've killed It ticks on & on & on & on again I've been holding on to yesterday I've been keeping all that's real in the rear view Ain't these tires just a picture book of sorts Bringing stories from the mountain rocks to sand dunes on the shore The pages in my car are full, but I've got miles to go It rolls on & on & on & on once more I've been holding on to yesterday I've been keeping all that's real in the rear view I've been sleeping in a bed that don't want me I've been holding on with hands I don't use Ah my doorbell's growing rusty from the rain The screws don't care to hold it and it's cracking at the ends I know time ain't kind to engines, but that button never failed I'd give anything to hear that sound again I've been holding on to yesterday I've been keeping all that's real in the rear view I've been sleeping in a bed that don't want me I've been holding on with hands that I don't use
10.
I left nineteen in the bottom of an ark Came back in the middle of a drought I tried my luck at harvesting the dark Shaking trees but nothing fell out I broke my body in a cardboard box Weighed down by a free man's rage Nothing hit home like rattling the locks Longing to return to the cage Life ain't so hard Don't want your gold stars I don't feel too far From the sun I've got no hurry and nowhere to be Cause I've got nothing and no one Who was in the pocket of the ambulance man Dangerously fooled by doubt Waste your time searching for a miracle plan Find out that you never find out Happy is a star you have to squint to see Fading as your dreams come true We can be anything we want to be Only if you wanna be you Life ain't so hard Don't want your gold stars I don't feel too far From the sun I've got no hurry and nowhere to be Cause I've got nothing and no one Can this be the answer, can this really be all? Repeating til we lose our breath How can we give meaning to a something so small Or know when there's nothing left I want every minute like a gospel song Every rock a cornerstone Tired of thinking everything I do is wrong Tired of feeling so alone Life ain't so hard Don't want your gold stars I don't feel too far From the sun I've got no hurry and nowhere to be Cause I've got nothing and no one

credits

released October 9, 2017

Kyle Kubiak - Background vocals on Just Tomorrow

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Jay Kayle Cincinnati, Ohio

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